For ages now I’ve been annoyed by a black wattle tree branch that has been growing over part of the lawn and shading it on one side of the house. The grass is looking dreadful because of it (unlike the grass on the other side of the house which is looking dreadful because you-know-who ate the reticulation over there). Anyway, in a fleeting moment of lumberjackish hysteria I sawed the branch down. This is a job that can only be carried out when hysterical because the resulting adrenalin allows me to work fast enough that I can do the job without being dismembered by the billions of green tree ants which are swarming in the vegetation over there and, it would appear, on that exact branch in particular. So, down the branch came. It turns out that it objects may appear larger when lying on your lawn and I had to pay the gardener a bit extra to chainsaw it into smaller pieces and take it away on his man-sized trailer. It was dutifully removed the following morning, but not before She Who Should Be Resting Her Shoulder raced around it as though she’d been eating red snakes and cola cubes all morning. I wonder why her shoulder’s not improving.
Unfortunately she was moving too fast for me to even focus on her but you get the idea.
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